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Via mikem@thecolumbiastar.com | November 11, 2021

"Well, you little fools... you are going to fall! I'm already with you! I gave you a chance for a lifetime, but did you listen? You didn't, now... you are mine!"

My husband, Marty, must be very scared. When he walked into the house, he saw me standing alone in the laundry room, aiming at the ceiling with my Porto vacuum cleaner, spinning like I just walked into a spider web. I'm sure that my little death speech made him a little alert, because all he could see was me waving the portable vacuum cleaner at the end of his last stop, as if I were General Custer. But he seemed to deal with it calmly. I want to be married to me for nearly 18 years so that he left a small window of surprise where I was worried.

"My dear... what are you doing?" He walked towards me slowly and cautiously while keeping his eyes on Portovac.

"They're back, Marty! Those damn disgusting and stupid moths are BAAAACK!!! I'm going to kill them all!"

"Well, baby... let's sit down for a while, you can tell me what happened... come on... hand me the vacuum cleaner... put it in my hand."

I reluctantly handed over my weapon and sighed.

"I just don't know what to do with Marty... They are back! I thought the exterminators got rid of them. He said he did it! Why? Why are they torturing me? Does God hate me? He must! He is in the summer Send flies, now these stupid moths! I can't stand it!"

Marty carefully placed the vacuum cleaner out of my reach and pulled me into his arms.

"Come on, Julia... Let's sit down and I'll pour you some wine. Then let's talk." I sniffed and followed him to the porch. He put a glass of wine in front of me, then poured himself something, he took a gulp, and then returned to the porch.

A few months ago, I unknowingly brought home a bag of dry dog ​​food, which was obviously the happy home of the mill moth. Mill moths, Indian meal moths, food moths...they are small flying insects that enter grains, grains and...pet food. They are harmless to humans; they do not carry any diseases and do not bite. But they will definitely breed! The eggs they lay become larvae, and the larvae can pass through all kinds of food packaging, even the dense paper that pet food comes in. I don’t need to open the dog food right away, so I just store it in the cabinet in the laundry room. And this is the perfect formula for mating, breeding and cocooning of these annoying little beasts! When I opened the dog food, it was ruined. Moths are flying around in the bag, their babies are on both sides of the cocoon, they are actually going on a damn parade to commemorate me for providing them with such a pleasant place to live and grow up!

Of course I am scared. I put down my bag, screamed bloody murder, and ran up the mountain. Seeing what happened, Marty quickly took the bag outside and threw it into the trash can, and sprayed it with insecticide. I emptied the cabinets, washed them, and put all pet food in plastic containers. I thought everything was over, leaving only a few rebellious moths.

I'm in trouble. I don't like killing people. I catch and release spiders, bees, wasps-as much as I can-if I have to kill a bug, I will try to do it quickly and kindly. I think if I suck them up with my small vacuum cleaner, they can be put back in the yard and they will be grateful that they will fly away. I can even see them flying around in this thing, so they are not dead. When we finally had to call the exterminator, he wanted to use the glue trap, and I stubbornly refused. I hate glue traps. They are terrible! They are inhumane and a terrible way of death. The exterminators tried to explain to me that the trap they used would lure the male into it before the male mates with the female, but the female would follow the male until it was glued to death. This was the only way to get rid of the little monster. I still say no.

That was a week ago. They are still here. After making me sit down, Marty reminded me of all this and told me that if I let the exterminator do whatever he wanted, I would never see the glue trap.

"I assure you, Julia...I will handle it. You won't even know they are here. Really...I think this is the only way."

"No! I hate those things, Marty..." I almost shed tears of frustration. "I want them to leave, but I don't want them to suffer."

"Well... how about this... you go to lunch with one of your girlfriends, I will meet the exterminators, and we will find a way. No matter what we do, we will get rid of them... I promise you! "

"And... there is no glue trap?" I whimpered.

"You will never see a glue trap... I swear. Now go call your girlfriend and plan to have lunch when he comes."

A few years ago, when we encountered a terrible spider problem by the lake, I protested that I did not want to kill the spider. Just like moths, I just want them to disappear. Marty told me that the insecticide sprays something spiders don't like to smell, which will allow them to move on, but will not kill them. I am very satisfied.

I'm sure this is what happens to moths. Marty won't lie to me, will you?

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